Short Story of a Long Seek
There was a very little time left before the end of year 2000.
The world was getting ready for welcoming a new era under the shadow of catastrophic scenarios.
A man who had never succeeded to put his life in order, started walking after a hopeless seek with an unexpected coincidence.
He tried to look at differently, he tried to see the past and the moment he lives from the window of his own world.
Events filtered from the history, a few picture of his friends being left in his confused mind, his thoughts he had never succeeded to put in an order turned and turned within his head.
While going after a simple question, he also faced his own, blurry past.
Being lost in a period starting from the Roman nights of early centuries to the space age of the twentieth century, he tried to find a light even small.
He was now in a race against time.
He had to open the past of two thousand years for his own future.
But how could he be able to find the exit point? Whom could he be able to reach?
With the hardness of finding that light, he added an unknown, X, to the two thousand years. He tried to survive between the weak shadows of the old friends and the beautiful eyes he met newly.
Some of the Characters Mentioned in 2000+X:
Titus Caesar: Roman general laying the siege of the temple at Jerusalem.
Tacitus: Roman historian, member of senate.
Augustus: The first Roman emperor.
Bruno: Italian philosopher, poet, astronomer.
Charlemagne: Monarch initiating a renaissance by making unity in West Europe available.
Constantine: One of the Byzantium monarch having this name, the one who gives his name to Istanbul.
Mehmed: One of the Ottoman monarch having this name, conqueror of Istanbul.
Montesuma: Leader of Mexican Aztecs.
Marco Polo: Italian traveller.
Copernicus: Polish astronomer.
Ibn Rushd: Arabian philosopher.
Erasmus: Dutch humanist.
Me: Any person living in today’s world and willing to reach the truth.
You: The special one looked for by everybody but can be found by only very few, the only one to share all the beauties adding meaning to what one wants to do and reach.
He or she: The blossom expected to survive and keep all the beauties of the past alive in the future when current days are over, my son, my daughter, my whole world, the meaning and nucleus of life, the most beautiful circle of the future.
I looked around. I felt both I was lost and I could find all the directions again. I knew I was completely alone. Who could be able to help me, who could be able to guide me? I had to seek. Without knowing what and where to seek. Going after a few words of the old man. Without knowing I will ever be able to find, without knowing if there is any place I could reach.
I thought I now knew where to start.
My first surprise occurred when I read Christ had been born six years before Christ. Whereas I was thinking he was born in year zero. In fact, there had been no year called zero. They had started counting by saying “One!” since there was no zero in Roman digits.
Although there could be an error of several years in determining the starting point, two thousand years were beginning in a period when Augustus gained absolute power in Rome. Oppression had reached to such a high level that the only hope was waiting for a messiah who would be the protector of slaves and poors. Christ had started a movement of poor people by by defending the equality and brotherhood of all people, by defending love and opposing to privileges.
Rome was pointing the stage civilisation reached. Little or a big step which can affect the future of the Empire could have a vital importance for the future of humanity history. However, there were too many empires, senators, generals, historians, phylosophers in Rome. I was getting confused in deciding which direction I should turn, which one I should look at.
“Within this puzzlement I did a job I should have never done, I raised my eyes from the book and had a look at the other side. In fact, she had also done something that she should not do, she had sitten there. I knew that I should not turn my interest to her, but my eyes had already seen her once. It was now impossible for me to forget she is right accross there, just opposite to me.
“I raised my head again, and saw again what I should not see. Her eyes were as beautiful as never to be forgotten. They were shining in my eyes for minutes like the traces left after looking directly at light. I had started to forget even why I was there. It was not possible to continue this way. I had to give a break, or I had to read finding a way whatever it is.”
Suddenly I heard a voice telling “I think you left reading.” A voice very soft, so to speak full of love, giving a hidden support, a voice just like telling ‘Do not give up believing life and future.’ A happiness just opposite of the fear I had just lived rose inside me.
“Livius, approaching personnally and looking ethically, was probably being one of the people legalising the heavy responsibility of women with his story.”Lucretia was taking out the knife she hid under her dress and sticking it into her heart telling “No woman will be able to show Lucretia as a model for her honorless behaviour.”
“In the period of Caligula the ethical crisis were at the highest levels. The emperor had killed his father in-law and his nephews, had sexual encounter with all his sisters, and later offered them to his close flatterers around him. But the Empire of Rome was still very strong during his rule. It was able to carry all loads brought whatever was done by the emperor. A strong army has been protecting the borders, management and economy have not been getting out of order.
“Cladius had been married to a woman occupying the oldest profession of the world. The empress were changing her clothes for a different identity, and were going to the public house, getting all her cloths off and covering her naked breasts with a golden net, and leaving her body to hard touches of the Romans. Cladius were tied to his wife any way. But despite his devotion, the end of the empress had soon come with the effect of the people around him.”
“Here the winds of a warning, a danger were being got. Whatever the truth to be learned was, it must have been learned before entering the year two thousand. A debt could be paid only through this way. Alright, what would happen if it will not be paid? The old man had not told about that. But the meaning getting deeper in his looks while talking was clearly declaring that the results would not be positive in any way.”
“Maybe the most interesting part of the overall story was that both Romans, Jews, and Christians had always been very near to the lands I live.”
“Maybe my future could change a lot if once upon a time a had met these looks. But now this softness, this warmness, this lovingness were giving sorrow, only sorrow.”
“But Amalasuntha had attracted my interest the most. The daughter of Theoderich “The Great”. She had understood the importance of reading and writing more than her father. She had been reading books, learning Latin. She had had a desire to be close to science and culture. In a few years, this barbarian girl had started to translate the poems of Vergilius from Latin to Greek.
“I met an empress named Wu Hou. She was mentioned as one of the most important women in Chinese history. She had increased the power of Tang dynasty, achieved unity in the empire. She had joined to the palace of empiror Tai Zong. She had taken the management power under her control.”
“One of my precedents, looking surprisingly similar to me, he is in the bed, in a room illuminated with a soft, shaky light, in deep pain, moaning continuously. A man with a bright face comes. He has bottles with various liquids, powders in his hand. He comes nearer to the bed, he uses the substances without being confident about the result he would have. But the moans decrease incrementally. The patient passes to sleep being relaxed.”
“You are going too far. To far behind past. Don’t we behave this way in all in our lives too? First, we put our eyes on far futures. We look at, we wait, we wait. Then on our childhood. We tell again and again that how beautiful days they were. We never turn to the places where we can touch with our hands, to the ones we can change really.”
“Suddenly I asked, “Who, do you think, is the most important man of the two thousand years?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I turned red. I was stepping safely in the way of breaking records of odd behaviour. But she told a name without hesitating. I was surprised. I waited for a moment. “Why?” I asked after. “Because he told he loves me.” This time boiling water fell down from my head. Honestly, this was not an answer I would expect from her. I was shaken with a feeling of disappointment and unhappiness mixture.”
“Where was I from, really? Where should I be from? My entire life had passed being dragged from here to there. I was like a small boat lost in a stormy sea. I had not been able to find a peaceful harbor for my asylum. Had my life passed running way or chasing, I did not know even that.”
“As a matter of fact, the answer for all questions were depending on who I was, or where I saw myself. If I were an African, would I feel a deep sorrow for the situation I am in today despite I am living in a continent where the first lights of life had shone. If I were a native American, would I grieve for the evaporation of our advanced civilisation under the scent of gunpowder? If I were feeling the past of Asia, would my point of turn be the moment when our preeminence started to fall back? If I were sharing the wealth of Europe, would I consider controlling all of them until eternity as the owner of all progress in the world?”
“The distorted information in the history should also be containing the solution of the puzzle that would give the truth.”
“I would just turn my head down and continue my seek between the pages. Suddenly I noticed that there were no more books in front of me. I had completed all the resources I had chosen.”
“I was surprised. I was like a student who was now alone with the exam paper and pencil leaving all resources back, after having completed all the work to get prepared. I had studied. I was trusting myself. But I knew that life was not easy, that it could always bring surprises, that there were always unknown and hard to find items.”
I was just anyone spending time outside as much as possible not to feel the coldness of home. I had been one of the players of several of the numerous adventures lived in Istanbul. I had lived death first in Istanbul, and loving insanely too, burning like Kerem with the misery of separation, the feeling of real self-confidence finding the meaning of life.”
“Eyes. Expressing different feelings at different times, eyes painted with the color of thoughts sometimes. Eyes. Eyes in the photograph fallen down from its place between the pages were taking me to the past. To far behind past at the beginning, to the first periods I met her, to her eyes shining with a light sometimes wrathful, sometimes decisive, sometimes stubborn. Then to the eyes asking for help as if begging, eyes trying to gain some strength from me. Then to the eyes looking with hatred after a great disappointment. They were reminding me the hopelessness I had lived since I was not able to step forward and help her, since I could not know what to do, and since I stepped back with fear even not being able to look at her face.”
“Suddenly I stopped. Everyone can have similar moments. Memories, sorrows, bliss start passing through the eyes. I was like seeing all the pain and sorrow humanity had lived during the two thousand years. People trying to run away in a demolished temple, people whose villages have been pressed and destructed under the elephants, people burned in the dark age for just thinking and inquiring, people drawn out from their lands and left for hunger and cold, people challenging death for equality with great expectations but finding only disappointment in the new empires, people living only loneliness and poverty at the end of the efforts with all their children, women and men for independence, people suddenly burst in fire with heavy steel tanks during a war of existence in their towns, people being lost delivering their lives to poisonous gases, little, pretty, good people being attacked from all directions and have to leave all their pasts, sometimes their lives…
“Suddenly tears flooded out from my eyes. A concentration of feelings similar to one has after living extraordinary pains and witnessing pains of others not less than his or her own pains, surviving despite all of them, reaching to the moment relaxing thinking all of them are over. How unstoppable was my crying, how endless were my tears. All those pains that poor good people had had for centuries were coming down from my eyes like water flowing out from a hose. And so lonely I was feeling. There wasn’t even a couple of beautiful eyes to share my tears.”